If you’ve ever checked your ex’s social media at 2am – or their new partner’s LinkedIn (because it’s the only social profile you can access) – or are having sex with your partner knowing you’re going to leave – or if you can’t stop thinking about the one who broke your heart a decade ago – or if everyone thinks you’re the perfect couple but you’ve been drifting apart for years – or if you’re swiping to fill a void – then you’ve probably felt a smarting of shame. But let me tell you something radical: your darkest secrets, your most repulsively shameful thoughts, feelings, and behaviours: you’re not alone.